First off, nice piece, really makes the reader think. I particularly like the first verse. Good imagery too, with the skeleton walls and so on.
I've given it a more thorough lookover and picked out the mistakes I've noticed.
1)"Rocks lined in rows" - no apostrophe in rocks, and rows without the e
2)is the 'out' in the 5th line supposed to be 'our'?
3)if you have a full stop at the end of the 1st line of the second verse, then the next line should be with a capital since you did the same in the rest of the poem. Or, replace the full stop with a comma
4)"once our pride's had its fill" << its without the apostrophe, because "it's" means 'it is'
5)last of all, I don't know the word 'clining', is this a typo or am I about to extend my vocabulary? ^^

Hope that helped, in the language part anyway, I'm not really good in the poetic part. ^^

You are ofcource right concerning everything. And I'm not about to expand your vocabulary tody, it was supposed to br clinging.
It helped a great deal. When I make a poem i always write a rough first, then I let a few people read it. Then I change it and let a few people read it.... and on it goes. The other poem "Stories" took me months to finish this way, the last changes made here. So you're basically my boar I bounce ideas of, and I'm very thankfull that you'll help me!

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Nayleya

The pitures you draw a great, your words include a good imagination. I couldn't find any grammar mistakes except in the 5th verse of the secon stanza (I hope it is spelled right): "its" has to be without the apostrophe.

The poem itsself is very melancholic, it makes to think, but it spreads also a bit of peace by the describtion of a wonderful landscape. The first verse makes you expect some more drastic words, it is a great contrats to the calm words of the rest. Maybe one can describe it as follows: The first line is a kind of scream, while the others are a silent mourning.
It's an interesting contrast.

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Try to unlearn everything you've learned,
Try to listen to your heart.
No, we can't understand the universe
By just using our minds...

Epica - Consign To Oblivion

Okay, correction of mine: The contrats between the natural describtion and the way you use it to describe human behaviour is more striking!

--
Try to unlearn everything you've learned,
Try to listen to your heart.
No, we can't understand the universe
By just using our minds...

Epica - Consign To Oblivion

Glad I could help. I thought the word might be clinging, but I wanted to ask and make sure first. ^^

Thank you so much! And yes, Aila saw that one aswell, but I forgot to change it along with the others :silly me:
I was feeling very melanchloc at the moment, thinking of all we are doing wrong, and how easy it should be to do them right....... I like your description of it, silent mourning...... it fits

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Nayleya

OK

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Nayleya

Vivid imagery.

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Pimping jewelery for a friend: [link]

Thanks!

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Nayleya